To Help You Deal with Difficult People

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Are you looking for a way to let go of negative comments? In this episode of the Maximum Lawyer Podcast, Tyson Mutrux discusses strategies for managing difficult interactions, particularly within the legal profession. 

Managing difficult conversations is a tough aspect of working in the legal space. This is the case with colleagues, clients or strangers. While chatting with a fellow colleague, Tyson came across an interesting tactic for dealing with difficult people. The trick is to understand that people are not arguing with you but their own imagination. This is more so for those that make comments on social media. Most people who do this are trying to get their dopamine hit by getting a reaction out of you. If you understand this concept, small comments or moments of disrespect will not bother you.

Episode Highlights:

• 02:14 Understanding Rude Comments
• 03:25 Mental Trick for Reframing 
• 04:25 Recognizing Attention Seekers

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Transcripts: To Help You Deal with Difficult People

Tyson Mutrux (00:01.186)
Welcome back to another episode of the Maximum Lawyer podcast. This is a Saturday episode and I want to talk to you about something fun that I learned to deal with difficult people a little bit. And I'll get to that in a moment. I'll tell you about a conversation I had with one of our new attorneys and I'll tell you about that in a second. But before I do that though, I would love it if you would text me or

submit your questions or comments at maximumlawyer.com forward slash ask or text me 314-501-9260 on anything you have a question, comment, concern about starting or running a law firm. That way we can answer those live. I say live, but I'm gonna keep saying live, live on the show. So we'll play your recording and I'll answer it and

be a lot of fun. So make sure you mention your name so we can give a little bit of credit for it. But I would love that. MaxMiller.com forward slash ask or 3145019260. You can text us a video too. That's a way you could do it. So that would be something pretty cool to do. So do that. But I want to tell you about this this thing that I heard that you can deal to help you deal with difficult people.

and not all difficult people, but some difficult people. I was talking to one of our new attorneys, Quincy. She was telling me about an attorney that we deal with on a regular basis, she's not super fond of. He's kind of a jerk. He works for a defense firm. those of you that do plaintiffs work, you know what I mean. So he's not the friendliest guy, friendliest guy. Now.

This thing, here's the thing, I wish I could tell you where I heard it. I wish I could tell you where I read it heard it. I can't remember if I heard it somewhere or I read it, but I can tell you it was pretty, it's a pretty cool way of viewing people that either are rude to you in passing or they are, they make a mean comment on one of your posts. I thought that was a pretty cool way of dealing with it.

Tyson Mutrux (02:23.872)
If you think about, let's say that you post something on Instagram or Facebook or TikTok, whatever maybe, it doesn't matter where you post it. But someone goes on there and they don't know you, okay? They don't know you. The information that they have about you is pretty limited. They see your name maybe, or just your username. They see whatever is in your little profile, your bio.

So they know very little information about you, and they make some snarky comment. Maybe you, you know, put something on there and they assume that you are some political affiliation. Right, left, whatever. Okay. Well, what I think is really funny about this is that they know essentially nothing about you. So they are making a lot of assumptions.

about you on very little information. So the little mental trick here, which I think is pretty cool, is they're not attacking you. They're not arguing with you because of that. They're actually arguing with their own imagination. Okay. So let that sink in a second. They have drawn all these conclusions based on sometimes just the thing you wrote, just the one little, and it could be a three word sentence or

Very quick comment or a smiley face or something so they they know nothing about you because let's let's face it Most people aren't gonna before they comment they're not gonna go in and check your profile. They're just gonna go in and just make a comment Okay, that's what most people do that are that are trolls so they do that So the reality is what they're doing is they're just arguing with themselves. They're arguing with their own imagination same goes for anyone that you deal with that you interact with out in the real world where they are

can be rude. They know nothing about you. They can make a snarky comment to you, whatever. And the reality is that they are arguing with their own imagination. Which I think is just a fabulous way of viewing negative people in the world. I think it's a phenomenal mental trick to kind of get over it. And another thing is, and this is like a bonus within the bonus, if you also understand that a lot of people that…

Tyson Mutrux (04:49.376)
They like to poke the bear a little bit. The ones that like to do that, the ones that like to make those snarky comments, the ones that like to make those mean comments on social media, the ones that when you are at the store, they want a butt in front of you. Many, many of those people, if not most of those people, are trying to get that dopamine hit. What I mean by that is that

They want a reaction from you. Like that's how they get their dopamine to hit. So if you understand that, you're less likely to react. Okay, next time, and this is a nice little challenge for you, the next time that someone, you can tell they're trying to piss you off, use that. So just like, know, I know what they want from me. They want me to react. I'm not going to give them what they want. And so I use that if something comes up, because I know, and I see this,

It's just how it works sometimes whenever I'm dealing with insurance adjusters or if I'm dealing with defense attorneys. Some of them I know how they act. The vast majority of the people that I deal with are actually pretty pleasant as much as I like to pick on insurance adjusters and defense attorneys. The vast majority are pleasant. But there are a few that you can tell they just want to just, they want to poke the bear and they want to get that dopamine hit. And I just tell myself, I'm not going to give it to them. I just kind of smile, move on.

And then I forget about them. I don't don't give them another thought the rest of the day So use those use those little bitty tricks to deal with difficult people because it's just not worth your time. Okay? That is all I have so this is this makes up for the last episode that went really long You know is about 20 minutes or so this one. It's gonna be under seven minutes maybe unless I keep talking but

That is all I have. These are meant to be bite-sized. So this one's a bite-size for you. Before I go though, just shoot me a text. I'd love to hear from you. 314-501-9260. It is always fun to hear from people, get comments and questions. So make sure you do that. 314-501-9260. Until next week though, remember that consistent action is the blueprint that turns your goals into reality. Take care, everybody.